I shivered as I stood by the side of the pool, waiting for my heat in the 200 meter freestyle race. My first race. Mom’s voice echoed in my mind, reminding me of the legacy of competitive swimmers before me. “Your grandma was a state champion in backstroke, and her brother could have been a world champion swimmer, but he switched to diving and went on to the Olympics. You have got the swimming gene in you!” I could not wait to prove that true.
When I heard, "Swimmers, take your mark," I stepped up to the starting block and pulled on my goggles, my mind calm, my breathing steady. I knew that I probably wouldn't come in first, but that didn't bother me. I knew that how well I did would reflect how much training I had done. I was only a beginner, but at every practice I had done very well, always keeping up, and sometimes waiting impatiently for slower swimmers ahead of me as we swam lap after lap. I felt well prepared. I was focused, serene, and it was as though I could feel every stroke I had ever done imprinted into my muscles, the pattern of movement memorized by each body part. The echoing of every voice and splash in that indoor pool faded into the background as I knelt down and stared into the water below. I imagined how I would slice into the water on impact, creating as little resistance as possible. I continued to breathe deeply and my surroundings dissolved, leaving just me and the water.
I barely heard the whistle blow, but my body was ready to go. My fingers let go of the edge of the block, and my legs kicked off. In that split second where I was airborne, I pulled my arms straight in front of me, overlapping my hands, and dived into the water. I propelled myself to the surface and pulled my arm up out of the water. The movements were automatic; stroke, turn, breathe, kick, stroke, turn, breathe, kick. As I turned my head to breathe, I glimpsed the other swimmers, neck and neck with me. I knew I was doing well, and might have a chance of actually coming in first. I pushed myself a little harder, and pulled ahead slightly.
As I started into my second lap, that's when it happened. My chest suddenly tightened, and as I tried to breathe I sucked in water and began to choke, my throat burning from chlorine and physical exertion. I tried to compose myself and push onward, but I had upset my rhythm, my limbs flailing awkwardly for a moment. When I finally righted myself, the other swimmers were far ahead of me. I continued forward, determined not to come in last, but it was no use. My lungs burned and heaved, making me gasp for breath when I turned my head. I got more water in my mouth and had to spit it back out when my face went underwater again. My body felt heavy, as if I were wearing a thick, wet sweater, and I slowed way down. I realized that I still had two laps to go and my heart sank. I knew that no matter what, I was going to look pathetic, but if I could just finish, that would at least be something.
The other swimmers finished and climbed out of the pool, and there I was, half drowning as I struggled through each stroke and excruciating breath. My goggles had slipped a bit and water was seeping into my eyes. My head spun from lack of oxygen and I imagined myself sinking down to the bottom of the pool where I could slip into peaceful oblivion. But I forced my muscles not to relax until I finally finished and pulled myself out of the pool with shaking arms. I didn't let myself look at anyone. I just stumbled into the locker room, wrapped myself in a towel, and sobbed in disappointment and relief.
Four Years Later
I held a red rescue tube under one arm as I tread the warm water with the other. Danielle bobbed in front of me as we waited for the command. "Ready, go!" Tim called. We exchanged a nervous smile then together Danielle and I took a deep breath, pressed our arms to our sides and let ourselves sink into the water. Once we submerged we lifted our arms out and above our heads to propel ourselves down toward the bottom of the pool. I opened my unprotected eyes to watch Danielle through the murky, chlorinated water.
As I passed ten feet, I felt sudden pressure on my ears. Distracted by the sensation, I let my legs part which halted my downward movement. I saw Danielle reach the bottom before me and I quickly blew air out of my lungs to sink faster. I came down behind her until I felt my toes touch the floor and the slight tug of the rescue tube strap wrapped around my torso. I hooked one arm under Danielle's arm and around her chest, hugging her limp body to me. I pulled on the strap and kicked off the floor against the twelve feet of water pressing down on us. The ascent was slow and I began to panic when my lungs started to burn. I cursed myself for using precious air to reach the bottom of the pool as I kicked furiously toward the surface.
A moment later Danielle had expended the last of her air and began to kick as well, breaking the character of the drowned victim. As I grabbed higher up on the strap in an effort to pull us up, I lost my grip and at the same time our flailing legs collided painfully. I let go of Danielle and we were free to use both arms and legs to quickly swim upward. Cold air hit my wet face as I broke the surface, and I sucked it in gratefully. We swam to the side of the pool and hung both arms on the ledge. "Are you alright?" I asked a gasping Danielle. She smiled and gave me thumbs up, then wiped her dripping face.
I smiled back but my heart sank. I remembered how Hanann had urged me to be a life guard, insisting that I could do it when I hesitated. “You will be fine,” she had said. “The life guard training really is not hard, and you are already a great swimmer!” I wished I could believe that. I looked over at Shane and Josh who were goofing off by the side of the pool. Their lean, muscular bodies were evidence of years of swim team training every week. In my mind’s eye I saw Shane standing heroically on a pedestal, dozens of shining medals draped around his neck and a trophy raised triumphantly in one hand. That is the kind of person a life guard is, I thought. I’m not like that. How can I be a life guard and save people when I don’t even like swimming?
Tim walked over to where Danielle and I were and squatted down in front of us. “Not bad for a first try,” he said. “Shelby, make sure you get down to the victim as fast as possible. Every second counts, especially when it’s a submerged victim. If they are even still alive, they are lucky to have a few seconds left in which you have to get them out, and start CPR.” Tim stood up and clapped his hands. “Alright everybody, everyone will go through the passive submerged scenario one more time, and then we need to move on to spinals. We have a lot to cover before the final test on Thursday.”
Thursday came like a bullet. Before I knew it, we had begun testing. I had already passed the written portion and performed CPR on a dummy, so I was waiting for my turn to do the rescue tests. My stomach churned nervously as I sat on the lobby bench and I regretted eating that huge bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.
“Karlie, Shane, and Shelby, It is your turn!” Tim waved at us from the pool side. We stood and walked through the glass doors to the indoor pool, our bare feet slapping nosily in puddles in the otherwise silent pool. Tim explained the scenario, “You guys will be doing a submerged spinal victim. Shane will be the victim, Shelby will be the first lifeguard, and Karlie will be the second. So Shane and Shelby, get in the water and begin when you are ready.” Tim handed me a rescue tube and my knees turned to jell-o. The submerged spinal scenario was the hardest one there was. I would have to not only retrieve Shane from the bottom of the pool, but hold him with both hands in such a way that his head would not move. That meant I could only use my legs to swim to the surface.
I stepped into the water and heard the splash of Shane behind me. My heart was pounding and I wanted to cry. What was I been thinking, doing life guard training? I wanted to die rather than humiliate myself in this test, especially when I was rescuing Shane of all people.
No, I thought suddenly. It’s almost over. I have made it this far. I have even done this kind of rescue successfully before. Why should I give up now? Why should I waste all the time and money that I spent to take this course? I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
“Let’s go,” I said. Shane and I sank down, and I even beat him to the bottom of the pool. I positioned my self carefully next to him, placing one hand at the back of his head and one on his chin, and pressed my forearms into his chest and back, creating a strong brace for his neck. I kicked off the floor with all my strength and the rest was a blur: reaching the surface, Karlie pushing the back board underneath Shane, securing the straps tightly around his body, and carefully pulling him out of the water strapped to the backboard. I was suddenly aware of myself kneeling next to the pool with Tim congratulating me and Shane lying safely on the ground and grinning at me. “You can go now,” laughed Tim when I didn’t move. I dazedly walked out of the pool, and sat back down on the bench, wrapping a towel around me. Slowly I felt warmth spreading through me, and it was not because of the towel.
Several minutes later, Tim popped around the corner and called to me. “Shelby, Amanda wants to talk to you.” I wrapped my towel tighter around me and walked into the office. Amanda was sitting behind the desk, filling out swim team schedules. She looked up when I walked in and smiled. “Have a seat.” She motioned to the chair opposite her. I sat down carefully, making sure my towel ended up between me and the seat, and clasped my hands together. Amanda set her pen down and said, “This season we are short on swim teachers. Would you being willing to take the Water Safety Instructor course in a couple weeks? It would be great to have another swim teacher as soon as I hire you.”
I did not even need to think about it. “Absolutely,” I said.
When we arrived at the Grand Bazaar, I was immediately overwhelmed by its size. We entered the main street and I saw hundreds of tiny shops squashed together along the spacious street. It was difficult to keep up with the rest of my family as we walked through the crowd. I finally grabbed my dad's arm so I could take in everything without getting left behind.
