Whose decision is it?

One important aspect of decision making is determining who the decision maker is and acting accordingly. If the decision is yours to make, you can accept advice from other people, but you should keep in mind that the decision is still yours to make. You can’t always please everyone with a decision you make, so you must simply say, “Thank you for your input, I will go make my decision now.”

Most of my life I have made decisions to please my parents. Sometimes this has resulted in me being unhappy with the consequences. I decided that in the future I would keep in mind that if the decision is ultimately mine, I wont make a decision simply to please my parents. I used this in a small decision last week when I had to choose between getting my homework done right away or going to hang out with friends. My mom strongly encouraged me to hang out with my friends since I had not seen them in a long time. I thanked her for her advice, and then instead of leaving right then to see my friends, I called one of them and scheduled another time to get together and I was able to finish my homework. I am glad that I remembered that the decision was mine to make because it led me to make a better decision that benefitted everyone.

Issue Paper Topic

I know this is really late, but I keep forgetting I have a blog!

For my paper I want to write about evolutionary psychology. It is an emerging field of psychology based on the idea that human behavior can be explained by evolution. People who behaved certain ways were more likely to survive and pass on their behavior traits to their children. There is a lot of controversy surrounding this issue, such as the debate as to whether or not evolutionary psychology can really be considered a science since there is no way to go back to prehistory and prove how people actually behaved. Another is that evolutionary psychology explains gender roles as being a result of evolution and it is therefore in our nature to fill those roles, instead of us conforming to society. It is a very interesting issue, but I'm not sure exactly how I should explore it in my paper...

Any ideas?

(For the record, I personally lean more toward the "nurture" explanation of human behavior. But I do find it interesting how people try to prove that "nature" is the only factor in determining behavior.)

Mourn the Losses

Today in my Freshman Honors experience class we talked about mourning losses when we make decisions. When we make a decision, it closes a door on an alternate decision. We must properly mourn the loss of the alternate situation to be completely at ease with the situation we affirmed.

I joined the Air National Guard about 3 months ago. Recently I have been feeling uneasy about my decision, and I wasn’t really sure why. I decided to take a moment to go over everything I would be missing because of my decision: I would be behind in school, I would be away from friends an family for a couple years, and I wouldn’t have much time to relax for a while, to name a few. I thought about these things for a while and let myself feel sad. Then I thought about all the reasons I did join: My tuition would be paid for, I would have a secure job, I would be able to do what I love as a linguist in the military, the military environment would help me learn good habits and help me to be more focused and motivated, and I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I would be doing something important. After this process I felt much better.

Crucial Conversations

Today in Freshmen Honors Experience we talked about Crucial Conversations. A crucial conversation is a discussion between people where stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. We learned how to have a discussion without it turning into a destructive argument. I realized then why I had such a hard time having a civil discussion with one of my friends. Neither of us were really listening to each other, and both of us only cared about being right. I realized that I didn’t want this pattern to continue with this friend. I wanted to be able to discuss our different opinions without making each other feel bad. The next time I saw him and a controversial topic was brought up, he started by giving his opinion. This time I actually listened, and I repeated to him what he had said. He seemed really surprised, and his whole demeanor changed. When he realized that I understood him, he could relax and talk calmly. He even followed my example by repeating what I said when I stated my opinion. We continued the conversation to the end, and we realized that our opinions weren’t as different as we though, and the differences we could respect.

Insight on Friendship

I had an experience with a friend recently that caused me to realize that I had been taking his friendship for granted. I had let myself argue with him needlessly over small things, such as what we thought about a certain preview to a movie. I let myself become more critical instead of complimenting, assuming that our friendship was strong enough that he would not mind so much. We had known each other for so long and were best friends, so I assumed that nothing could go wrong. I thought that he had already accepted me, so I did not need to try so hard at being a good friend. I was selfish, expecting him to reassure me about every little thing, while I did hardly anything for him.

I did not even realize what I had been doing until he said he had decided to distance himself from me because he couldn’t take it anymore. I realized then that to have a truly good friendship, one must always do something to show the friend that he or she cares about that friend, and always refrain from being mean; not just at the beginning of the relationship, but always.

I have decided that every time I interact with my friends, I will say or do something to show them that I care, whether it be giving them a compliment, comforting them if they are having a hard time, or simply laughing and enjoying spending time with them instead of finding things to tease them about.

I have still kept in contact with the friend I mentioned at first. Since the day he told me he had had enough and needed a break, I have been diligently working towards my goal of being a good friend. Every time I feel tempted to tease or argue with him, I have not let myself give in, not once. When he asked, I gave him advice about a girl he wants to date, while reassuring him that he was doing a good job. In the past week, our relationship is being slowly, but surely, repaired. I will keep my goal of being a better friend for the rest of my life since it is making me (and my friends) much happier.

"Oh yeah...I have a blog I should be writing."

Since I have only done one post on this blog so far, I feel that I should write something. Unfortunately, I don't really know what to write. I suppose it is because I feel that there is some sort of expectation I am supposed to meet in my posts. Do I need to write about something deeply thought provoking? Or tell amazing personal stories? Or try to convey complicated thought processes I have? What I do know is that I feel the need to write something impressive, witty, and intelligent. This isn't a personal journal and several people people could be reading it. Or are they? Maybe no one really cares or has the time to read ramblings that I have cranked out in ten minutes simply to meet a requirement for a class.

What I will try to do is fulfill the the implications of the name of this blog: Annotations on life. I will just write whatever insights I have while simply doing what I do every day. And hopefully it will be sufficient to to get me a good grade.